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AS I snuggled up in bed the other night, it occurred to me, I love my pillow.
It gives me comfort. It enables me to rest. And if it’s absent, I feel pain. It’s a lot more than can be said for many humans I know.
Our connection to our pillow is real as is revealed when we’re without our favourite pillow.
Like when we go travelling. Or camping. Or any time we have to fashion a pair of undies and shirts into something approximating a soft lump upon which to rest the noggin’.
It makes you wonder why we’ve been built this way.
Whose big idea was the neck? Evolution v creation? Where’s the grand plan?
Don’t get me wrong, I can see the advantages.
Without a neck we’d never know the joys of having a collar. Or a hickie. Or whiplash. Which is what you get if your pillow’s not right.
In ancient times, people used rocks or wood as pillows.
Examples of these can still be found in some antique shops and modern motels.
Henry VIII banned pillows for everyone except pregnant women. A few of his wives didn’t need them either.
In ancient times the worry was more about keeping the head off the ground so bugs didn’t get in the ears or hair.
Another current concern in some modern motels.
Whatever way you look at it, pillow fights must have been brutal in ancient times.
Ancient Asian cultures used to ban use of pillows because it was felt they stole energy out of the body.
Which suggests ancient Asians must have felt chronically fatigued.
Henry VIII banned pillows for everyone except pregnant women. A few of his wives didn’t need them either.
A pillow was seen pretty much as a status symbol until recent times and the advent of mass production, much like chicken.
Chicken doesn’t make a bad pillow if you’re really desperate either.
The point I’m driving at is the humble pillow has a long history with the human condition.
And as such, it is easily exploited by modern marketers. As you’ll discover the moment you go to buy a new pillow.
You’ll encounter a whole world of ‘‘pillow science’’ you never dreamed existed. Possibly because you couldn’t sleep.
It’s illegal to sell opiates, but marketers will tell you their pillows induce the same effects. And judging by the inordinate cost, it seems pillow manufacturers feel they should be compensated for the fact you’re only likely to buy a couple in your life.
A pillow is essentially a sack with some stuffing in it. Pretty hard to mark that up. Unless you sex it up.
Thank god we’re all unique. That means you can say just about anything and somewhere out in the world it could be true.
For example, if you’re constantly waking up with a sore neck or shoulder, it could be your pillow’s to blame. It could also be you had a bad experience in childhood or been benchpressing 500 kilograms.
But that won’t sell pillows.
What you need, is need, even if you don’t realise you need the need just yet.
A good marketer will break things down so that you become confused by all the new needs and lose sight of whether you need a new pillow at all.
For example, they’ll ask what type of sleeper you are? One who sleeps on their side and hogs the blankets? One who sleeps on their backs and talks in the night?
Once you’re disoriented and just before you answer you’re a sleeper who likes to close their eyes and sleep, they’ll get you thinking about size.
It would be heaps easier if there was just one size.
But remember the earlier golden rule about retailing – one size must never fit all.
Why prohibit those who can pay more from doing so.
There must be a range.
To accommodate the pin head, the fat head, the dickhead.
Then there’s the fill. Ideally, something soft.
That’s what the Enlightenment was all about. The triumph of reason and individualism over tradition.
Translated for the purposes of this discussion, the movement away from rock pillows. To feathers, and what not.
Foam is all the rage these days. Oddly enough, foam seems reasonably cheap.
As in free when it came packaged with our fridge.
But put it in a pillow (sack), and the price suddenly climbs, sometimes vertically if you’ve got some verifiable medical condition. More if you can’t put your finger on the problem.
Granted, modern foam has attributes you’d never thought possible. Muscle memory, allergy repellents, unicorn traction.
If you’re still not blinded by the pillow science, they’ll get you talking firmness. At one end of the spectrum you have the stability of rock and wood from the Middle Ages. At the other, the indecision and gullibility of the new millennium.
In the end, all we’re looking for is a good night’s sleep. And ultimately, it’s buyer beware, sleepers wake.
Whatever works baby.
Hopefully once you purchase your pillow you can lay all other concerns to rest.