It's funny what you prioritise in lockdown.
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We got the call the other day from health authorities to get COVID tested.
Given the level of community transmission percolating, and the propensity to immediately think the worst, the possibility of having to isolate for 14 days seemed alarmingly real.
Hence the sudden need to prioritise.
But it wasn't toilet paper that sprung to mind in that moment.
Nor hand sanitiser, bullets or beans.
No, the first and only consideration flashing front and centre on the attention console lighting up the dash was ... red wine!!!
Did we have enough for dinner!? ("Frantic face" emoji, "submarine dive alarm" noise)
I can survive staying home, seeing nobody, exercising on my own and talking to my volley ball, because that's basically how middle-age people live anyhow.
But if there was not enough red wine to go with the meal that night; and if I couldn't walk down to the bottlo to alleviate this problem because I was isolating waiting on results; well, obviously I had a pressing need. Grape pressing.
So I did the only reasonable thing under the circumstances.
I attempted to log online and order a pallet of grog for delivery.
Well, not a pallet, but the reflex to stock up was strong.
I soon encountered problems when I couldn't remember my log-in.
With dinner possibly less than two hours away, and delivery guaranteed no less than two hours if I shelled out a fee, now, which I was more than willing to do because you can rationalise anything in a crisis, the pressure was on. But in frantic haste my cart got confused, my credit card wouldn't process and my account was disabled.
Thus my pressing need for grapes quickly morphed into a pressing need for alcohol counselling, of sorts.
So I did the only reasonable thing under the circumstances.
I rang the 1300 number for the grog delivery service to discuss my issues.
I told them I'm not sure if it was a coping mechanism to distract from the health menace knocking at our collective door.
Or evidence of another health menace knocking at my liver's door.
Either way, I was obviously thinking short term, and experts never recommend that.
A more level-headed approach would be to think about tomorrow's dinner as well, and the day after.
So yeah, definitely needed red wine. Probably a case. And maybe a carton of beer.
And with that, my alcohol counselor did the only reasonable thing under the circumstances.
They reset my password and confirmed my order, and almost immediately I felt a sense of relief. Grog was on the way, and dinner was going to be OK.
I'd like to think my essential needs might have been different minus a pandemic, but let's leave that discussion for another day.
Funny the things you prioritise in lockdown, though.