The first of my grandsons is learning to use a potty right now. He's not too bad for a tiny tacker. When I say "Good work", he tells me "Mumma and Dadda say wow". Ok then.
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Unless you are being toilet trained, there is only one time it is permissible to wee in public. The late, utterly great Peter Cundall, the undisputed angel of gardening in this country, told us weeing on citrus trees improved lemon output. We have tried to do that in our garden. When I say we, I mean those of us in my family who hold a hose.
So news a senior manager from the Australian Pesticides and Veterinary Medicines Authority engaged in a "private urination incident" made me feel queasy. I've lived through countless stories of footballers who've emptied their bladders in public and others who've used their weenies as bubblers. Not a good look. Also my idea of private urination is just that: me, the loo and four walls. No spectators or recipients.
I wonder if the people who serve us, either as public servants or political servants, understand codes of conduct - how we as adults are meant to go about our daily lives without causing hurt and havoc wherever we go. The urine incident was just one of many examples of bad behaviour this week from grown-ups on the public purse to behave in ways which are inappropriate. We've seen for years how many act with impunity then we forgive and forget.
The most recent case in point? Peter Reith died on Tuesday and I am sorry for the family's loss. But let's not lionise a man who lied about refugees throwing their children overboard. Who within a few hours of lying knew he was lying and continued to lie. And while most news reports have at least mentioned this appalling aspect of Reith's time in office, we are getting equal time for the former prime minister John Howard's enthusiasm for Reith. I guess liars will always have each others' backs.
Can anyone explain Labor senator Glenn Sterle to me? How is it that a big man can still think it's OK to call an adult woman a "naughty little girl" is beyond me. I blame the Labor Party for not sending a bunch of their older blokes (anyone over 20) off to decency training which might get them up to speed on how to behave with women. It is still possible to be hard on people without resorting to trivialising and misogynistic language. For example, one might say to McKenzie, you really should not be part of any function of parliament since an auditor general's report found you ignored sporting grant applications of merit in favour of those in marginal electorates. Gives new understanding of the Coalition's grip on merit. Loose to say the least.
And then among other bad behaviour we move right along to senators Sarah Henderson and Alex Antic in Senate estimates. Do we wonder why good humans do not want to enter politics? Alex was up to his old antics (yes, as a person whose last name is Price I feel perfectly entitled to tease people about their last names). This time it was about Courtney Act. Australian Idol's first ever season dragged (sorry) her into the spotlight and she's been go-go ever since. Just recently she was spotted on Playschool reading Kat Patrick's children's book The Spectacular Suit about dressing in whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Antic said: "The program was rated G and has been heavily promoted on TV and on the app. Why is the ABC grooming children with this sort of adult content?"
The managing director of the ABC David (who ought to be angry) Anderson: "Senator, I don't see that as grooming children with our content. That particular program is reading from a book that is about dressing up ..."
Henderson attacked legendary ABC investigative reporter Louise Milligan. The subject was a speech Milligan gave at a dinner for ACT women lawyers. Henderson herself didn't hear the speech but I imagine based her claims on some inventive work at a shabby Murdoch outlet. Henderson also demanded to know the salaries of individual reporters at the ABC to be put on the public record. Attention-seeking shenanigans at the absolute worst. If anyone is interested, the base salary for senators and members is $217,060 per annum and they get a whole bunch of extra money for any extra duties and for travel.
Would anyone in the world argue we get better value for money from these politicians, especially these two, than we do from the fantastic reporters and presenters at the ABC? Please tell me one thing either Henderson or Antic has done in the genuine public interest instead of confected culture wars?
MORE JENNA PRICE:
Let me close with more horrors about those who are paid to serve the public. We already know about the lack of intervention when the former prime minister decided to appoint himself to a multitude of ministries. But surely the award for the most horrific example of lack of public service must go to Serena Wilson, the former deputy secretary at the Department of Social Services, who appeared before the robodebt royal commission on Wednesday, says she realised in 2017 that robodebt was basically unlawful but didn't alert anyone because she lacked courage. Blamed it on being "consumed with other responsibilities ... Now, I'm ashamed and in hindsight I could have spoken up."
Nice she's sorry now. Very convenient.
I can tolerate bad behaviour in small doses. But the last few days have confirmed that too many of our public servants can't stand up for us even when they know what they are doing is wrong. And what kinds of political servants do we elect who so terrorise people whose job it is to serve the public?
- Jenna Price is a visiting fellow at the Australian National University and a regular columnist.