Christmas shoppers are getting the shakes heading into December and it may not just be COVID related.
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Retail fever is on the rise and although possibly linked to coronavirus, it's more likely because we haven't done our Christmas shopping yet.
As if we didn't have enough to sweat about, now retailers offer us this added phenomenon called Black Friday.
Starting next Friday, November 25, and extending to Cyber Monday and beyond, this multi-day shotgun start to festive season revenue raising looks more like a Black Friday Long Weekend.
And given shops have already kicked off with their sales, maybe make that Black Friday November.
And depending on your attitude to Christmas shopping in general, just call it The Darkness.
The fact that Black Friday doesn't fall on a 13th doesn't mean it won't be a horror show for those allergic to consumerism.
And while not related to Halloween I'm thinking about hanging ghoulish paraphernalia out the front of my house through December.
Just to show how I feel about being culturally hijacked.
Like Halloween, though, Black Friday has become a thing in Australia, and for many, a thing of shopping beauty, with lure of bargains galore and hopefully delivery to your door before December 25.
If someone asked what Black Friday is, I'd probably say it's a shopping construct that originates in the US and is a joke - the end.
But that might sound like I'm dishonouring the latest disruptor to the establishment that's become the establishment.
So I'd probably say it originates in the US and is called "Black Friday" because it helps US retailers get their books out of the red after Thanksgiving on a Thursday.
So yeah, thanks, giving.
Interestingly, in Australia, Black Friday is a term more historically associated with horrific bushfires.
It seems moving forward we as a nation now honour that catastrophic notion by getting frazzled shopping.
You might have to check with Russian hackers why they call it Cyber Monday, but of course, there's no point banging on about the artificiality of it all.
Next thing we'll be questioning closing down sales the world over, and all those end-of-financial-year clearances, that seem to happen every month.
Who doesn't love a bargain anyhow?
Or the thought of one which those who get into Black Friday say truly exists.
If you ferret hard enough.
Or just lie about.
I know, I'm sounding confused now, so the concept is obviously working, and I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet.
So I'm taking Black Friday as a reminder that I better get into it soon.
Otherwise, like someone caught in a bushfire, I'll get burnt and have to buy all my presents at the Boxing Day sales.
If they're still a thing.
Oh no, I'm starting to shake again.
I hope COVID doesn't affect my nose for a retail gimmick.
