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When I was young and anxious, I used to worry about dying a lot. That wasn't - just - the result of screaming neurosis. Both my parents died early after complicated painful illnesses, so I just assumed I'd follow them down that path. Then my sister died when she was just 57 so I knew I was done for.
But it turns out that if you listen to your GP, you can get a few extra years. In my case, mine urged me to lose weight (tick), do more exercise (tick), be happy about doing exercise (you have got to be kidding me), eat more fruit and vegetables (tick, tick) and be insufferable about it all (tick, tick, tick).
Of course I have made up some of this advice but that's how it felt as I was listening. Yep, lost over 50 kilograms and in 14 years have only put back 10. Anyone who tells you it's easy is a goddamn liar. Haigh's chocolate-coated orange segments beckon me in my sleep.
A new report from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare released this week shows Australian life expectancy has risen by more than 10 years in the past five decades. It's about what we know about how our minds and bodies work, it's about vaccines and medicines, it's about the quality of our working lives. Thank heavens for medical research.
So here I am with nearly 10 years more than dad and four years more than mum. Australian men are expected to live to 81.3 years and women to 85.4 years. I'm still a long way from that but grateful for what I've had so far while at the same time daily resenting 10,000 steps, 14 flights of stairs and exhausting hand weights (are these things working?).
Dee Madigan, campaigner, commentator and glorious mother of three, is now 53. Her parents died when they were 46 and 53, from smoking-related illnesses. How does she feel about the extra time she's had?
"You just don't have the normal expectation of having a long life," she says. Her kids are all teenagers now but she would tell herself this when she was younger: "I just need to get them to 18."
And now? "Now it's 'I need to be alive until they are more mid-20s'. I do focus on that."
How are we all filling in the time? Listening to birdsong, reading more, some of us are filling in family histories. We have lived past our retirement from full-time work and have time to please ourselves. The term grey nomad was invented for my generation.
Turns out that what I thought everyone would do with this extra time is exactly not what they are doing. I thought we would all be turning up to volunteer, either in formal settings for charities or at local public schools, to help with reading programs. According to the National Strategy for Volunteering, the rate of formal volunteering has been declining for decades - and the pandemic certainly didn't help. Just under 2 million Australians left volunteering during the first two years of COVID.
Finding the right gig as a volunteer is hard, to be honest. I briefly volunteered for an international health charity for a while but I can barely manage my own administrative tasks. I then spent years volunteering at the various schools my kids went to. My parentmates (parents of the kids in the same classes as my kids) ran the most brilliant bookstall at one particular fete, charging double the price for secondhand books as the local - excellent - secondhand bookshop. All in a good cause, we'd tell patrons. Since then it's been a patchwork of other causes, all of which I love and none of which want me to do admin (no one else deserves my personal chaos).
But if you've got more years than your parents had, here are some ideas about what to do with your spare time. While COVID isn't over, neither is a general need for volunteers. Volunteering Australia has identified over 1000 organisations which rely on volunteers. Not all of them need someone right now but there are hundreds which do - from doggy rescue to community care for the elderly, from reading support in schools to becoming a guide in galleries and museums. You could always sign up to your local #Yes23 campaign which needs all the help it can get. Same with the environment. These ridiculous temperature rises aren't going to go away by themselves. My current favourite is Knitting Nannas (not sure whether there is also Knitting Grandpas for equal opportunity) but seriously, the opportunity to count turtles is very tempting. Love a good turtle.
I feel lucky that I'm hearing birdsong for longer than my mother, reading books for longer than my father. And grateful to be cuddling and kissing my darling grandchildren. Now I just want them to have their kids before I pop off the perch.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Have you lived longer than your parents? How should we spend our extra years on this earth? What's been your experience of volunteering? If you could volunteer anywhere at all, where would it be?
Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- Young home buyers are cutting back heavily on their spending, in some cases by up to almost a third, under pressure from soaring living costs and interest rates, according to Matt Comyn, chief executive of Australia's largest mortgage lender, the Commonwealth Bank.
- The Department of Defence is refusing to say whether one of its top-paid bureaucrats, "special advisor" Kathryn Campbell, is still collecting a $900,000-a-year salary after a scathing report into the illegal robodebt scheme made adverse findings against her.
- The Matildas will field their strongest possible line-up against France as they attempt to charge into their Women's World Cup campaign. They face the world No.5 on Friday night in Melbourne in a friendly, six days before their opening group match against Ireland. And the ABC's Fran Kelly is looking for a new chant for the national team, to avoid Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oi, oi, oi.
WHAT THEY SAID: "There is only one solution if old age is not to be an absurd parody of our former life and that is to go on pursuing ends that give our existence meaning - devotion to individuals, to groups or to causes, social, political, intellectual, or creative work." - Simone de Beauvoir
WHAT YOU SAID: I knew I'd stay up watching State of Origin in the fond hope the Blues would win and I'd been following the whole battle between the NRL and the players. I asked you what you thought.
Bruce writes: "Oh dear, yet another gullible cheerleader of the greedy, selfish, way overpaid and overrated 'custodians' of professional sports. I'm surprised you still support Origin, Jenna. I stopped after reading that domestic violence cases increase 40 per cent on Origin night."
Scott says: "I used to like rugby league, had season tickets and attended games regularly. But now the game is beholden to television rights to the point scheduling games for television rather than attending fans, and also the game is living off gambling companies."
Graeme writes: "I agree wholeheartedly with Jenna's assessment of the NRL administration which I extend to all sporting administrators of any sport. My dislike for sport's administrators goes back to their treatment of Dawn Fraser, banned after a bit of harmless high-spirited hijinks in Tokyo 1964 (she climbed a flagpole and nicked an Olympic flag). She was banned from competing in Mexico in 1968 thus preventing her from winning an unprecedented 100 metres freestyle gold medal in FOUR successive Olympics. Does anyone remember those responsible for such a travesty?"
Lee says: "I do agree that players have such a short career span that they need to get everything they can in those years. Some of the players don't have anything to fall back on after the game, so they need to be able to find themselves into their next careers. The players also deserve the respect of their employers which seems to be lacking ... and they desperately need someone to teach a few of them how to treat others."
David writes: "Well said, Jenna, about rugby league players, it's their livelihood at stake. Yes, as an old Sydneysider I love the game ... last night's game was excellent - well done, Freddy and the boys!"
Wayne writes: "There was a time when sportsmen were paid next to nothing. In most cases it's still the same. Only elite athletes are handsomely rewarded ... try being an aged care worker, or somebody in the hospitality industry, getting paid peanuts to do a very important job."
Sue says: "You are spot on with your comments about employer/employee relations. Eight months delay for renewing a collective bargaining agreement is probably not all that long compared with other employee groups but really, this is one of the problems in our society ... employees have been treated with disrespect for such a long time that it is not surprising that we have a shortage of staff in so many areas."
Daniel writes: "As a young boy I used to be annoyed at my factory-working father always watching various sports on our black-and-white TV. Now as an older man, working as a desk jockey, I completely understand. It's an escape from the hard working day. A chance to shout at the authority's bad decisions - even through the TV. Now, with so much more sport on offer through streaming platforms, I consume more sport than my father ever could. It's my metal health support, my friend. Much like reading your wonderful musings, dear Echidna. And please don't ever apologise for broaching any subject. Nothing should be off limits to your important work."