'Ask them what they've heard': tips for talking to your kids after distressing events

So this week parents are being urged to talk about the Sydney mass stabbings with their kids.

Stabbing incidents in Sydney suburbs Wakeley and Bondi have saturated the media since April 13 with graphic videos and descriptions plastered across outlets.

Children were also exposed to this "prolific" coverage and it may have had a behavioural impact on some.

"It's pretty hard to hide this type of news from children, there's big studies that show just how much exposure kids have to media every day of their lives," Emerging Minds director Brad Morgan said.

While parents could limit screen time, major bad news events like these were something children would encounter unintentionally. Parents should directly address the issues with their children.

Among older children and teenagers, exposure was likely to be of "higher intensity" but Mr Morgan said parents could adopt the same strategy of open conversation.

Mr Morgan said that most children would "naturally and healthily" respond with some reactions to events of this scale.

"We anticipate they'll have questions, they'll be worried, they may have sleep troubles, you may notice some changes in behaviour," he said.

"They're all expected behaviours."

However, he warned parents to monitor their children for these responses that may indicate distress.

"Because of how prolific the media is and how much is coming, it might be hard to switch off from it, and so the nature of it, once kids are seeing it, they might continually engage with it," he said.

Common responses children may have to these events are being frightened, feeling unsafe or overwhelmed or worried that their families might get hurt.

Raising Children Network director Derek McCormack said that children may accidentally hear media coverage or adults talking about distressing events.

"It can be upsetting - even if they don't fully understand what has happened," he said.

Start a conversation

Parents are encouraged to find a good time to ask their child about what they've heard or seen.

"Parents can help children cope during distressing events by making time to talk and giving their child their full attention," Mr McCormack said.

"Start by acknowledging that a distressing event has happened and find out what their child knows, then ask what questions they have."

The Raising Children Network encourages parents to stick to the facts and avoid inserting opinions when explaining a situation.

"Reassure their child that it is OK to feel worried, angry or sad, but over time they will start to feel better," Mr McCormack said.

Encouraging an open conversation allowed the child to share how they were feeling and to receive assurance that they are safe.

It also allowed parents the opportunity to teach their children key skills for understanding media coverage.

"With older school-age children and pre-teens, parents could point out about how rare events are considered more 'newsworthy' and that's why they're on the news," Mr McCormack said.

While experts do not encouraging hiding news stories from children, they recommended eventually switching off the coverage from the TV, screens and social media.

Emerging Minds' Brad Morgan said that for some children and adults, it could be hard to stop consuming the stories, especially when the media reports were constantly accessible.

"It's heightening how you're feeling, and when that happens you're triggering a stress response and so you're not necessarily processing it accurately," Mr Morgan said.

He recommended a "whole family approach" where parents modeled the response they wishedtheir children to take.

"Switching off as a parent, and modelling that and talking about it to your kids too, to notice how you're reacting."

However, for children who were continuing to show negative behavioural changes, which affected their everyday life, experts recommended seeking help.

"If you notice they're having some changes in the way they're behaving and reacting and that seems to be continuing or disrupting their everyday life, you might need to contact some additional support."

"For some kids, they might have experienced events like this in the past, and the events can be quite triggering, so monitor" he said.

Free services include the Kids Helpline, beyondblue and Lifeline.