OF all the healing Angie McMahon achieved through her Light, Dark, Light Again album, perhaps the most important step was forgiving herself.
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The album's titular track, Letting Go, and its melodic hook, "It's OK, make mistakes" have become somewhat of a personal mantra for the indie singer-songwriter.
And it's struck a chord. Light, Dark, Light Again received almost universal acclaim upon its release last October.
It was short-listed for the Australian Music Prize, rated by NME and Rolling Stone as third-best Australian album of 2023 and nominated for Triple J's J Award.
Double J and The Guardian also included the album on their best-of lists.
McMahon's childhood hero, Missy Higgins, even became a vocal fan.
It was an incredible result for the Melbourne 29-year-old, who feared she couldn't match the success of her sparser 2019 debut Salt.
"The record was really hard to make and I'm really grateful that it's been meaningful for people on the other side of that, because I really felt I was in this survival place when I was making the record," McMahon says.
"It became a really beautiful healing piece of art for me. By the end of it I wasn't super focused on whether people would hear it and whether it would reach people.
"I came to a point of acceptance, that maybe the first record I put out was going to be the only one that interested people, and maybe this one was going to be lame.
"And that was fine because it had been really healing for me to make. What actually happened after it came out, I've been really overwhelmed by the love I've received for it."
Light, Dark, Light Again features a multi-textured landscape of folk intimacy and indie-rock bombast, pieced together by McMahon's ethereal vocals.
Tracks like Letting Go and Exploding conjure up the anthemic power of Bruce Springsteen and The War On Drugs, while more delicate moments like Fireball Whiskey and Divine Fault Line mines the emotional territory of Phoebe Bridgers' 2020 masterpiece Punisher.
McMahon explains the majority of the album was written from the viewpoint of searching for a sound on her guitar and piano to paint the emotion she was experiencing. Lyrics, chords and melody followed later.
"It's maybe you feel uncomfortable in your body and something rises up and trying to let it come out through the music and find out what it is as it happens," she says.
"I don't usually know if what comes out is going to turn into a song, it's more I'm trying to release or process something and inhabit a musical mindset."
During the promotional campaign and tour for her debut Salt, McMahon was battling anxiety and struggling to cope with the attention. The spotlight has only grown due to Light, Dark, Light Again.
However, McMahon has grown stronger, too.
In March she completed a successful tour of the US and on Sunday she kicks off a 11-date Australian tour, which includes major venues like the Sydney Opera House and Melbourne's Forum Theatre. Eight of the shows are sold out, including McMahon's first Newcastle gig at the Bar On The Hill.
I'd wake up the next day and think, 'I can't believe I said that on stage, how embarrassing'.
- Angie McMahon
McMahon admits she's nervous about playing such "regal rooms", but believes she's better equipped with the situation since quitting alcohol.
"When you play a show you get a big adrenaline rush, you get nerves, you get a crash afterwards and I used to use alcohol to regulate that stuff," she says.
"Now I try to stay as stable as I can. I have a practice, which is me regulating myself without needing substance for it. That is not the only way to do it, but it's been an important one to me because I know I can crash pretty hard after a big high."
Quitting alcohol as a musician is challenging, booze is closely intertwined with the industry, but McMahon says it's been an important change for her mental health.
"I'm not necessarily never going to drink again," she says. "I'll do this year without drinking.
"It is tricky sometimes in the moment when everyone else is having a drink, and when I feel uncomfortable in my body and I feel an uncomfortable emotion, and I know it would be easier to have a glass of wine.
"I'm really proud of myself on the other side of it when I choose something else. I'm a better performer and artist and I don't say as much stupid shit on stage.
"Because inevitably I'd wake up the next day and think, 'I can't believe I said that on stage, how embarrassing'."
McMahon hasn't completed a new song since Light, Dark, Light Again was released, but she's afforded herself time to begin plotting album No.3. There's "2000 voice memos" of "30-second ideas" on her iPhone.
"I have all these ideas, a pop record, a huge wild rock record, a meditation record, a folk-country record," McMahon says. "I don't know which way it's going to go.
"I'm trying to experiment with stuff as much as I can. There's not a lot of time, you just have to dive in when you get the chance."
Angie McMahon plays the Bar On The Hill in Newcastle on Friday, May 17.
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Josh Leeson
Josh Leeson is an entertainment and features journalist, specialising in music, at the Newcastle Herald. He first joined the masthead in 2008 after stints at the Namoi Valley Independent and Port Stephens Examiner and has previously covered sport including the Asian Cup, A-League, Surfest, cricket and rugby league.
Josh Leeson is an entertainment and features journalist, specialising in music, at the Newcastle Herald. He first joined the masthead in 2008 after stints at the Namoi Valley Independent and Port Stephens Examiner and has previously covered sport including the Asian Cup, A-League, Surfest, cricket and rugby league.
