Maybe the most useless sentence uttered in Newcastle is "It's in town".
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A close runner-up is "It's on Hunter Street."
Can you be a little more precise, please? Where, exactly?
"Town" is almost 4 kilometres long if we measure it from the ocean baths to the bridge over the railway at Islington.
So we need to narrow down locations in town by using a few precinct names. We already have some, but usage of the old ones is declining. They need to be revived, and we need three new ones, too.
The old names have declined because most Novocastrians hardly go into town these days.
But the city centre is slowly filling with residential towers and will eventually accommodate maybe 20,000 people. Thanks to their local demand, there will be more shops, restaurants and bars that will attract people from elsewhere. We'll again need to nail down locations in town with some precision.
Of the three official suburb names in town, "Newcastle" and "Newcastle West" aren't much use. They're still too big, and "Newcastle" has other meanings.
Newcastle East, on the other hand, is a conveniently compact area. But its boundaries are a bit odd. Its edge along Telford Street seems natural enough, but south of Scott it reaches Customs House. No matter: we can just use the customary name for the area, "the East End", and recognise that it stops at Telford.
Our next precinct with a customary name is Civic, which has been called that since the 1930s or earlier. Newcastle council must be congratulated for getting the name officially recognised by the NSW Geographical Names Board in 2012.
The board sets boundaries of suburbs for clarity in addressing. It also recognises places within them, such as Civic. But it will not set the boundary of a non-suburb place. Instead it sticks a pin on a map, says "It's around there," and stands back to let the locals argue about the matter.
For Civic, the pin was stuck in City Hall. Since the name is also used by a tram stop, it won't die out.
And the boundaries of Civic? I reckon it goes as far as Darby and Auckland streets and not an inch farther.
Then we have the West End, which is developing as the most intense part of the city centre, with high zoning. It obviously extends to the Islington bridge, but where's its eastern edge?
Well, this is material for a banging-the-table dispute.
Some people will say the West End stops at National Park Street, others will insist on Steel Street, and I've even heard Union Street, which I'm sure is wrong.
We should settle the argument by noticing that National Park Street is one kilometre from the railway bridge, and that's enough length for one precinct.
Also in response to a 2012 council application, the board has recognised Honeysuckle, sticking its pin on the shoreline about halfway along. We all know where Honeysuckle begins and ends, because it's the redevelopment zone with many new buildings, some of them attractive.
Some people will say the West End stops at National Park Street, others will insist on Steel Street, and I've even heard Union Street, which I'm sure is wrong.
All that leaves us with three precincts in town that don't have names, including the historically pre-eminent one, the old city-centre core around the Hunter Street Mall. Actually, we have had a way of referring to that area, calling it "the top of town".
But that phrase isn't a proper name that we could capitalise.
So my suggestion is "the Old Town". The name is readily understood, as I've noticed over the past few years as I've used it occasionally, so it would be quickly adopted.
The council should popularise it and then apply to the board to formalise it.
The east-west limits should be Telford and Darby streets.
Next, we need to tag the stretch between Civic and the West End, no part of which seems ever to have had a name. Something with a bit of local heritage could be considered - "Palais", for example, after the sadly demolished entertainment venue of that name. But getting it to catch on would not be easy.
So how about "Midtown"? Since we've taken "East End" and "West End" from one of the world's two greatest cities, London, we shouldn't be embarrassed about nicking "Midtown" from the other, New York.
It would catch on easily.
A real estate agent trying to sell some joint in the area would love to say it's in Midtown, and then the lucky buyer would say the same.
Importantly, Midtown must extend to the north side of King Street, just as the West End needs to include Parry.
It's not all about Hunter Street.
Again, the council should popularise the name and get it registered.
South of Midtown is another precinct that will be heavily redeveloped, the triangle formed by King, Union and Parry streets.
Again, there seems to be no traditional name. My best idea is "Arnott", since there's an Arnott Street there and William Arnott had his steam biscuit factory on the Cooks Hill side of Union Street (but not actually in the triangle).
Perhaps readers will have a better idea.
Finally, as well as precincts there are two points in the city centre whose names need to be preserved. One is Dairy Farmers Corner. So hearty thanks to go to the developer Third.i for calling its proposed residential complex there "Dairy Farmers Towers".
The other is Bank Corner, where the West End meets Midtown. We must not let the successful branding of the Musos Corner shop there displace the traditional name of the location, where the old Bank of NSW completed its splendid stripped-classical building in 1940.
"Bank Corner is a city icon," architects Barry Maitland and David Stafford wrote in 1997.
And so it is.
The council needs to get that name officially registered, too.