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Yes, yes, it's dull, timid, repetitive and uninspiring but there's a lot to be grateful for the way we do politics in this country. For starters, we've never regarded it as entertainment.
With his legendary retorts and putdowns, Paul Keating tried to send us down that path but look where it got him. Voted out in a landslide in 1996. An emphatic Australian declaration that no one likes a smartarse. Look at who followed. John Howard, perhaps the most colourless PM we've had. And we had him for years.
They've tried since. Kevin 07 hitched his wagon to star power with the 2020 Summit, recruiting Cate Blanchett and other celebrities to the cause while the rest of us scratched our heads at what seemed to be abject wankery scribbled out on butcher's paper.
Abbott had a go with his three-word slogans, knowing winks at sex workers and onion eating stunts. Got him elected in 2013. Got him booted by his own colleagues before his first term was out.
Scotty tried too, with his Benny Hill schtick. The thumbs-up and gormless smirks at every photo opportunity. Lifting the mask while welding. Cosplay in big trucks, fighter jets and hairdressing salons. The country cringed through the first term. Then it punted him when he tried for the second.
These days, our politics has no star sparkle whatsoever. We have a prime minister who tries to cast himself as a cool inner-city Radio Birdman fan but struggles to articulate his thoughts. And an opposition leader so completely wooden he could double as a dining chair.
Hard to watch, I know. Drying paint can seem more interesting.
But look to the United States to see what happens when politics and entertainment jump into bed together. You end up with a one-time reality TV star as president, four years of chaos, an attempted insurrection when he loses the election, a string of court battles since and, at the end of it, he's a convicted felon 34 times over.
How did he and the US get there? Trump's an entertainer and Americans love to be entertained. You see it at his rallies, his faithful applauding deliriously at every falsehood, every helping of bile. Much of what he says is nonsensical but the crowd doesn't care. He's the celebrity they grew to know with when he hosted The Apprentice. He's a star. They're here for the show.
Trump's certainly not the only entertainer to mount the political stage. Ronald Reagan traded on his Hollywood past to become president in 1980. Former WWF wrestler Jesse Ventura became governor of Minnesota in 1999, surprising both Republican Democratic contenders by running on a third party ticket. And there was Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was voted governor of California in 2003.
Just a few days ago, outside the Manhattan courthouse where the charges against Trump were heard, Hollywood veteran Robert De Niro stepped up on behalf of the Democratic campaign, declaring the bloke in the dock was a "two-bit big shot". Again, star power deployed for political purpose, this time to influence opinion.
Pursuing celebrity endorsement is central to how American politics works - or doesn't work if you look at through a sceptical Australian lens.
Thankfully, we're resistant to that razzamatazz here. There's a lot not to like about our tall poppy syndrome but the way it keeps politics and celebrity apart is to be relished.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Has our innate scepticism served us well by keeping entertainment out of politics? Will there ever be a place for showy politics in Australia? Are you puzzled by the support for Donald Trump despite his conviction and the litany of legal cases he still faces? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- Western Australia's police chief has formally apologised over the death of a 22-year-old Aboriginal woman in custody. Yamatji woman Ms Dhu, whose first name has not been used for cultural reasons, died two days after being locked up at South Hedland Police Station on August 4, 2014. A coroner found Ms Dhu had been treated inhumanely by police and received deficient treatment from hospital staff.
- Australia's aviation regulator says it is not in a position to settle a lawsuit over the helicopter crash that killed Outback Wrangler star Chris Wilson without further expert evidence to work out who was responsible.
- Australia will provide $20 million to an energy support fund for Ukraine amid pleas for an urgent shipment of coal. Foreign Minister Penny Wong announced on Friday a $31 million package for Ukraine's energy and humanitarian needs.
THEY SAID IT: "I think there ought to be some serious discussion by smart people, really smart people, about whether or not proliferation of things like The Smoking Gun and TMZ and YouTube and the whole celebrity culture is healthy." - Stephen King
YOU SAID IT: Ultrasound images of Garry's yet to be born grandchild has filled him with fresh faith in the future and thinking about declining fertility rates and Australia's population challenges.
Ian writes: "Humans already use more resources than our planet can sustain so a population reduction would be a good thing. To be sure we'll have to find a way to look after our aged sooner or later in some way that does not require an ever expanding population. At the moment we are operating a Ponzi scheme and we know how they usually end. Already, ever increasing congestion and human developments are eroding the amenity of our human and natural environments."
"Immigration should be balanced with fertility and emigration to enable our population to stabilise," writes John. "That currently means immigration of some 80,000 which leaves room for refugees at current levels. Exponential maths tells us that at pre-COVID growth of 1.6 per cent there will be 100 million people in Australia in 90 years with disastrous environmental and social consequences. The worldwide problems with a stable or diminishing population are insignificant compared to the problems of continued growth. There cannot be infinite growth in a finite world."
Alan writes: "Australia is seriously underdeveloped and under-populated - we have no alternative but to continue extensive migration. Follow Singapore's example, attract educated people to enhance our population. Weaken the hold many (rich landed gentry or their descendants) have on our future development. If we need it, build it, and let's not wait for the rich to fund it to milk us further."
"Yes, Garry, the arrival of grandchildren did change my perspective," writes Maggie. "But my reaction was to become more aware of the dangers ahead of them, as I see a planet in distress. I live beside a river which is gradually dying as it is impacted by agriculture upstream and invasive plants and fish. Coal mines are eating into our hills and taking over trees that are home to koalas and other marsupials and birds. I have to hand-pollinate my zucchinis as the insects dwindle. And this is just the local scene; I see the same happening on a widescale when I look further afield. The future is unpredictable, as past doomsayers have shown, but I have no doubt that dangers are there."
Old Donald writes: "Gee Garry, do be careful - you almost sounded optimistic at some stages of this effort! Your Casablanca ending is most appropriate (in my octogenarian view) and a nice touch as Rick gives up all he cares about in the hope that she might survive the horror. With five grandchildren, I live and I assume eventually die in hope, but I don't like their odds."
"Talk about resonating connection," writes Bruce. "Our first grandchild is due end of July. Among other amazing stats, we get weekly updates on what vegetable the foetus's size resembles! Love it! I'm trying to be as positive as yourself, though climate, wars, unkindness, greed make it tough. I wish your grandchild good health, Granddad, Pop, Pa, Batman, whatever you choose to be called!"